The Great Escape – How to Successfully Get Lunch in SF

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The Great Escape – How to Successfully Get Lunch in SF

By Leo DiPierro

You’re with a group of friends, congregating in second period, contemplating what to do for lunch today. “Ah, I got it!,” says one, “I know this great place in the city. We can be in and out in a half hour.” You’re skeptical, you’ve heard tales of kids getting stuck in lunch rush traffic on Highway 101, of road closures and tardy passes after kids have underestimated the commute to and from San Francisco. You reluctantly agree, and one of your friends volunteers to pile all of you in their car and rush off into the great unknown to peruse one of the many fine eating establishments in the city of San Francisco.

In order to successfully get lunch in the city without running into an endless foray of obstacles, you have to treat it like an espionage mission, as if you were James Bond (preferably the Daniel Craig iteration, though hopefully without the car chases or exploding buildings). Careful planning of timetables and commute lengths is necessary to ensure you make it to your after-lunch class in one piece, and without campus security chasing you down after you inevitably arrive 20 minutes after class has started.

Firstly, find out what venue you want to pursue. Whether it’s a takeout noodle wok in Chinatown, a vegan mustard café in some gentrified neighborhood, or one of the many good old fashioned restaurants dotting the city’s landscape, plotting your course is key. (Until, of course, your friend makes a surprise announcement that they no longer eat meat and can’t go there) After you’ve found your preferred eatery, you have to figure out how to get in and out as quickly as possible.

The next step is rushing to the city immediately after your teacher has released you from their class; preferably coordinating via group chat and rushing to the BPL to pile into your friend’s car just in time to speed off on the 101. If you do manage to make it to your destination, you need to manage to order your food and be back in the car within a reasonable timeframe, hopefully before your friend notices it’s five minutes until you’re supposed to be back.

After you’ve inevitably overstepped your timeframe, the next course of action is to pile back into the car (hopefully without spilling various food items across the backseat in your mad dash back to Tam) and head back across the bridge. If by some miracle you’ve managed to stay within a good schedule and have at least a few minutes to enjoy your urban meal when you’ve returned; rejoice. You’ve managed to best one of the most pressing tasks in your school career; lunch in SF.