Justin Bieber and Christmas music alone are poisons potent enough to kill even the brightest of moods, but Justin Bieber has really dropped the bomb with his Christmas special, “Under the Mistletoe,” released on November 1st. The 15 track album is a nauseating mix of original tunes and butchered classics that has Beliebers going wild.
My main criticism of this album is the string of subliminal G-rated sex implications throughout the album. Bieber slyly mentions his location under a sprig of mistletoe and his desire for a sexual Christmas gift in every original song. These implications are probably necessary in captivating his prepubescent girly fan club, but Bieber needs to come up with something more original and less perverted.
The main aspect of the album that has Beliebers buzzing is Bieber’s new lower voice. Yep, puberty has finally caught up with Bieber and “Under the Mistletoe” is his debut as a man. This change makes Bieber’s career comparable to public nudity: when little kids do it its kind of funny, but if they continue after puberty its probably indicative of a psychological illness.
The one good song on the album is “Pray.” It’s just so pure and sweet. Who could help but love a sixteen year-old multi millionaire asking in song “Hey, can you tell me how I can make a change? Am I a sinner cause half my dinner is still there on my plate?” Don’t worry about your dinner Justin, concern yourself with the $25,000 you dropped on a necklace of precious stones shaped like Family Guy’s Stewie. But I’m sure starving children would rather you “close your eyes and pray” then downsize your glam-celeb lifestyle.
However, belieber Haley DeBatista disagrees with my opinion of the song: “Why is “Pray” even on the album? It has nothing to do with Christmas.”
Overall “Under the Mistletoe” was sub-par, even relative to other Justin Bieber and Christmas albums. If for some reason you’re looking for bearable holiday music, wipe your luscious bangs out of your eyes and stay away far away from the mistletoe.