“IF YOU’RE READING THIS ROOM WITH ME” the Facebook post read in the Drake-esque font. Along with this creatively edited photoshop masterpiece, Danny had included a long paragraph of things about himself, and most importantly, warned all readers to “disregard the confederate flag” in one of his high school pictures because “that kind of stuff doesn’t align with his actual political views” and he’s “genuinely a decent person.”
Reading posts like Danny’s has become a common afterschool activity for me as I near the end of my high school career and anticipate my upcoming four years of college. If you’re unfamiliar with the roommate process, this is how it works: you can either choose the random option and have the college match you or you can attempt to find a roommate yourself. Ever since I was little, I have dreamed about having that perfect college freshman experience, one in which I showed up on the first day of college and instantly became best friends with my roommate.
After being accepted to college, I was determined to avoid the roommate horror story that’s fictionalized in TV shows and movies, and find my perfect roommate. I began by investigating the random roommate option, but instantly decided that the seven question internet forum wouldn’t do the trick (three of the seven questions centered around whether I “fold my laundry right away, set my laundry down and fold it later, or never fold it at all.” How would my laundry habits help me find that perfect roommate out of 1,000 other people who probably have a very similar laundry experience.) So, I made the decision to take my roommate fate into my own hands and join both the “Northwestern University — Class of 2020” Facebook group and the “Northwestern University Class of 2020 — Admitted Girls Looking For A Roommate” Facebook group.
Most people began posting in these groups in the beginning of April. People would post roommate bios, ranging from the length of a tweet to a full essay about their living habits. What I’ve found–and I’m sure those who are also heading to college next year can corroborate this–is that college Facebook groups seem to bring out the weird in people. “Please be my roommate, I make really good math jokes. If you integrate don’t forget the C otherwise your grade will become one,” read one Facebook post. “Single, friendless female seeking roommate who will tolerate obsessive cartoon watching, spontaneous showtunes singing, and experimental light shows,” read another. There was the self proclaimed “long-time anarcho-communist,” the “ironic 1D lover,” and the “extreme tetherball fanatic,” all looking for likeminded individuals to room with.
Yet, despite reading numerous posts detailing my future classmates’ odd interests and roommate desires, as I kept scrolling through the groups, I found that just about everyone likes trolling Buzzfeed, listening to Kygo and Drake and Kanye, watching Netflix (especially Friends and The Office and How I Met Your Mother), eating at cute coffee shops, and living by the motto “work hard, play hard.”
Searching for a roommate in these groups felt like a form of awkward teenage online dating. After lurking around on the Facebook pages for quite a while, I finally decided to “swipe right” and chat a girl, Ashley, out of the blue. Conversation felt awkward and stilted at first, as we exchanged favorite music and movies, after school activities, summer plans. Yet, one thing lead to another, and we ended up meeting for lunch (she lives in Palo Alto). Over burgers and coffee milkshakes, we decided to room with each other next year.
The entire roommate search caused me an unreasonable amount of stress, and looking back, I can now see how insanely superficial the whole process is. It pains me to say this, but one of the only reasons I began talking to Ashley at first was that she just seemed cool. She’s pretty, likes to go out and have fun, seems like the popular girl at her school. Yet, as I got to know her over the course of our semi-awkward online and in person interactions, I began to like her for so much more than how she looked and how many friends it seemed like she had.
Although Northwestern’s automated roommate questionnaire was basic at best, it looked past superficialities and “generic” beauty, and posed questions to match incoming freshman with people they would simply live with best: night owls with night owls, neat freaks with neat freaks, etc. So, it might be best to just skip the unnecessary stress and avoid picking a roommate based solely off “good looks,” and leave the roommate matching up to the experts.
I also began to feel guilty for scrutinizing so many people in the college Facebook group after reading just one post about their quirky interests and habits. College is a place to learn from, and live among, people who have a range of passions, who are excited about what they are involved in, who are eager to talk about the activities they participate in. It’s going to be much more exciting to strike up a conversation with someone who has been part of an archery team for 12 years than to spend the entire time talking to people who have done journalism and mock trial throughout high school (like me). If you choose to judge your future classmates because of their infatuation with classical sonnets and flow dancing, you risk limiting your college experience before even setting foot on campus.