My Wizard is Better Than Your Quarterback

Back to Article
Back to Article

My Wizard is Better Than Your Quarterback

By Gibson Katz

Sports Fan“The primary scatter used in 6s is the stock, but I think that the FAN can be used on an offclasser to help keep a push off your point.”

Confused? This is how I feel when you talk incessantly about sports.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love to hear about men dancing in tights whilst tossing a ball around, but some days I want to think about other things.

Nothing is more exciting than watching a man try to hit a thrown projectile with a bat, hit a small white ball with a club, tossing a ball into a basket or, my personal favorite, a team of eleven people kicking around a ball. No sir, I love to be told why the team from your metropolitan area is better than the one from someone else’s metropolitan area.

I am completely in love with international sports as well. Nothing makes my heart swoon more than listening to you blab about how your country is better at a type of ball tossing on display than another country, while barely covering your nationalism.

You know what else I love to hear about? The sports fan’s Dungeons and Dragons: fantasy football. Nope, I can barely contain myself when I hear you yak about who you’ll pretend to start in a pretend game or when I hear you brag about how much time you spent on Sunday watching the games so that you could pick who would do best in your pretend game. Bonus points if you neglect your loved ones/housework/homework to do so.

Now I can see how the real Dungeons and Dragons is only a hobby for nerds; I mean, who would ever want to pretend that they live in a fantasy world when you could pretend to manage a team of men tackling each other? Only total losers… right?

So I propose that you sports fans learn to understand that to some people, the game you’re raving about isn’t that different from Dungeons and Dragons because football is bascially just another battle between graceful men in tights.