They are shady, mysterious and secretive, yet loud, social and obnoxious. Whether you refer to them as the Safeway Shadies, or the San Androids, the G-Spot Hittaz, the Mill Valley Mob or whatever, they’re there. They are always there. What place is “there” you might ask? Well it’s Safeway of course, their hunting ground of choice. Like a pack of cackling hyenas, they rest on the Safeway benches in swarms sometimes measuring up to 20 “fools” an intimidating sight for anyone. However, I’ll let you in on a secret: most of these kids don’t go to school in Mill Valley. The majority attend San Andreas High School, adjacent to Redwood. Why, then, don’t they dim the scene at a Corte Madera or Larkspur market? Why migrate back to the irrelevant town of Mill Valley like a flock of seagulls, just to sit at a supermarket and do nothing for hours at a time? Much like the puzzling existence of white crayon, why are they there?

These baggy-panted hoodlums aren’t the only flock that have invaded Mill Valley. Take about a thirty minute walk down Miller Avenue and you will reach the Depot, the current hunting grounds for the hip, spiritual, rag-clothed hipsters who will most likely be listening to or singing music you “probably haven’t heard of” from artists you “probably don’t listen to”, such as the now mainstream Edward Sharpe. Possibly brandishing a random instrument, this vintage-styled flock may even be holding in a cough on their cigarette. The pecking order is chaotic, with a nonexistent system of rankings. But the closer you look to a Haight St. runaway, the closer you are to hipster perfection.

Now that we’ve defined the two species we’ll be looking at, let us talk about their environments and ecosystems. Safeway, as you all hopefully know, is a large supermarket across from Tam High. Inside, one can find everything from toilet paper to fried chicken. There is a nice parking lot and a Starbucks and a Jamba Juice nearby to satisfy those who can’t possibly find something inside the gargantuan Safeway. A bus stop to the side and multiple benches make this spot a delectable hangout for everyone. But is it really worth taking a bus ride from Corte Madera? It’s not like there’s an almost identical market down the road from San Andreas. What exactly is it that excites these kids? Is it the sales? The bathroom? The location?

I’m going to put my bet on the latter. I would say that the hoodlum crowd prefers Safeway due to its location, which is as far away from the core of Mill Valley as it really gets.

Let’s now discuss the “core” of Mill Valley, the Depot. Surrounded on all sides by various coffee shops, clothing stores and random boutiques, the Depot lies spot in the middle of the bustling downtown area of Mill Valley. With fence-surrounded trees, a café, a bookstore, benches and various game tables, including chess, the Depot is a wonderland to a hipster. One can buy a low-fat drink, hopefully with soymilk, and read a vaguely labeled novel and exercise the mind with chess, all at the same time! It’s almost too much to handle for those trying to gather a unique persona. The Depot is also situated rather close to the nearby forests, where a fisheye-camera in the hands of a hipster can be a deadly tool of artistic chaos. Stefanos Pizza and Pearls is also just up the road, which makes the Depot an even more loveable establishment to the hipsters.

Regardless of the reasons why each group chooses their spot to sit, both places are great, and Mill Valley wouldn’t be Mill Valley without them. All we can do is hope is that the current construction of new establishments won’t wipe out the predatory hoodlums or the peaceful hipsters. Efforts have been made to protect each ecosystem, with new regulations such as the “50 percent discount prices” at Safeway, a tactic designed to bring the hoodlums closer to their natural habitat and keep them from wandering into civilization. Also there is currently a petition to make The Depot a National Park, something that would help increase the hipster population. Hope is on the rise for these two beautiful, fearsome beasts.