The SUV Epidemic

December 13, 2018

The Porsche SUV is an enigma wrapped in a $600 Louis Vuitton scarf. Owning one of these cars manages to say, “My spouse is never home and this is gluten-free vodka in a $30 water bottle,” while simultaneously saying, “Lucas needs to get to lacrosse practice before two.” There are actually two ...

Satire: Much Ado About Nuttin’

By Milo Levine

May 22, 2018

In an email sent out to parents and students on May 1, the administration stated their concern with the recent rise of student masturbation on campus. This email comes as the CDC has declared a national Porn Induced Masturbation Addiction (PIMA) crisis. This condition has struck high school communities e...

Zootopia: A “Children’s Movie” for all Ages

By Trevor Bukowski

June 2, 2016

Welcome to the animated world where humans don’t exist, sloths drive sports cars, and a gazelle is a national pop sensation. Zootopia, a Walt Disney Production, hit theaters on March 4th, bringing in 73.7 million dollars in the opening weekend, and making it Disney’s most successful release. Although...

Pranks of the Past

By Blake Villanueva

November 5, 2015

The final year of high school is the time to make mischief. The most important class tradition is the senior prank, the chance for the graduating class to leave its mark on the school, figuratively or literally. As 2016 approaches, rumors of “literally pooping on Redwood” and trading places with...

Strange Scholarships: From Height to Duct Tape

By Casey O'Brien

March 29, 2014

With the price of college education in America rising to unprecedented heights, many students have become nervous about their ability to pay for their education, and fear having to pay off huge student loans. But never fear, fellow scholars. Organizations all over the country are waiting in the wings...