Don’t Yuck My Tuna

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Don’t Yuck My Tuna

By Blake Villanueva

A few weeks ago, I was delighted to find mini boxes labeled Bumble Bee in the Student Center vending machine. Someone had answered my prayers in the form of tiny gifts that cost only $1.50. They were the perfect supplement to the various sodas, chips, and gummies. I eagerly bought two. One for my TA period and one for whenever I couldn’t resist having another.

In class, I eagerly ripped away the walls that encased my little treasure, revealing a small can of delicious tuna and a pack of six golden crackers. Upon peeling back the foil of the tuna, I heard a startling, “Ewww! What is that?” I was shocked. I looked up and saw a disgusted classmate. People at the table turned their heads. I was sure they’d agree that tuna is a tasty snack… but when I told them it was recently added to the vending machine selection, they were repulsed by the fact that it shared space with the other vending machine snacks. They asked if there was something wrong with me. Well, if you not only don’t like tuna, and you can’t deal with the fact that a lot of people do, there’s something wrong with you. (Kudos to you if you’re like me, and enjoy the tuna. This is for all the people who diss the fish.)

First off, don’t tell me that tuna looks like cat food. Sure, cats eat fish. That doesn’t mean only cats are allowed to eat fish. It’s also normal for a human to eat fish. You’re right—it’s shredded  fish with some other stuff in it, but haven’t you heard of a tuna salad sandwich?

Tuna is not unhealthy. Not even if it’s in a can. I guess you shouldn’t eat 20 pounds of it because it may have traces of mercury, but it’s not like the can is going to seep into the tuna. The FDA says fish, including canned tuna, are an important part of a healthy diet. And it’s not rotten. If it’s safe to eat other canned foods, why is it suddenly unsafe to eat canned tuna?  Anyway, tuna has protein, vitamins, and maybe the Omega 3 could help you smarten up.

You might argue, “You’re weird because you’re one of a small minority that actually likes the tuna.” Completely wrong. Bumble Bee Foods produces all kinds of seafood treats and is actually pretty popular. It’s really not a new trend. It’s amazing how sheltered some people are, to the point where they’re disgusted by the idea of a common household food. You should really try it before you bash it. And then if you don’t like it, you can go back to eating your pizza and hamburgers in the safety of your kitchen.

Even in elementary school, we were taught not to alienate someone because of their differences. In such a “progressive” community, it’s weird to have so many people complain about me because I like the tuna in the vending machine. During one of my classes, I stayed outside to finish the tuna out of courtesy for my peers. When I went inside, people held their noses, made faces, and just criticized me as the “only person in the school who likes the tuna.” And they were surprised when I became moody. I think we should accept someone even if they have different preferences than other people. I’m not hurting anyone, so let me be. Does this argument sound familiar?

There’s a reason they put tuna in the vending machine. People eat it. Eating it won’t kill you. Watching someone eat it definitely won’t kill you. So you can ask me politely to eat it somewhere else if the smell bothers you, and I’ll gladly comply. However, if you berate me for eating tuna in general, don’t act surprised when I get pissed.