Serious Answers to Silly Questions (Bizarre Hypotheticals with Tam & District Staff)

Serious Answers to Silly Questions (Bizarre Hypotheticals with Tam & District Staff)

By Samantha Locke and Samantha Locke

We so often only see administrators and teachers as their positions or subjects, but  they are so much more. To bring this to light, The Tam News asked bizarre hypothetical questions to show that our staff members are people too.

Q: If You Were A Vegetable, What Vegetable Would You Be And Why?


A vegetable.

What vegetable would I be and why… I don’t know. I would say a passion fruit, but that’s a fruit.

That is a fruit.

So, I’m trying to think of a vegetable that I would be….Broccoli, because I think it’s kind of hearty. Sort of robust. And generally, I think it’s liked. And I kinda like to be liked. That’s the reason.  It’s sort of this hearty plant, typically a winter-time vegetable, versus a summer-type, like corn, so it’s got this sort of sustenance kinda thing, at least I think it does. And my kids like broccoli, and my kids are pretty picky, so … if my kids like broccoli, maybe a lot of people generally like broccoli, but that may not be true.

PRINCIPAL JC FARR: If I could be any vegetable… Probably, I wouldn’t want to be a vegetable because I don’t like them. So, I don’t know. I don’t eat – broccoli maybe? It’s kinda stinky and green…I’d be broccoli. I’d be stinky and green. But when you cook it, it gets soft. I don’t know.

MR. LAPP: I would be an artichoke…well, because there would be so many layers you’d have to peel before you found my heart.

MR. HARTQUIST: Which vegetable would I be and why. I don’t know. I eat a lot of bananas. That’s – uh. That’s my answer I guess…. I guess I would be a banana because I eat a lot of bananas.

I’m not sure a banana is a vegetable.

Oh, a vegetable! I’m sorry, I’m spacing out. A vegetable. Thank you for the correction. A vegetable. I don’t know. Um. Garlic? Is that even a veggie? What do I even…? Maybe I need to eat more Veggies? I don’t know. Let’s just go with garlic.

Q: A  Unicorn Walks In Right Now. Why Are They Here? What Do They Want?

SUPERINTENDENT YOSHIHARA: I don’t know. He probably wants to know what’s different about me.

What is different about you?

I’d like to think that… that I’m willing to do the right thing, sometimes at the risk of doing things right.


Or…not doing the things right. Doing the right thing versus doing things right.

What is that difference?

That doing things right means following the rules and following the laws which we know exist, and in our profession is quite voluminous. We have education code and board policies. Doing the right thing means you look at the situation. You look at either the kids, or the parents, and you said ‘okay, doing the right thing means helping this kid, students should be successful’ at the point where sometimes it blurs sort of the lines of what’s allowable and what’s not allowable.

So that’s why the unicorn is here?

Excuse me?

That’s why the unicorn is here.

That would be why the unicorn is here.

PRINCIPAL JC FARR: To show everyone that we’re all unique…. He’s just showing off. We’re all unicorns. We’re all unique.

MR. LAPP: A special creature needs to be in the most special spot in Tamalpais High School

MR. O’MEARA: Just passing through.

MS. EWELL: I’m guessing that it’s my student  Will Rogosin, dressed up in a costume, and he’s just saying hi.