For most schools around the United States, Homecoming is an exciting time in the school year. However, this tradition seems to be lost at Tam. The dance is even being moved to a Friday night this year to compensate for a rap festival in the city that is taking place  the same weekend. There are many theories as to why Homecoming is not very well regarded at Tam, and my theory is this: people simply can’t think of creative Homecoming dance proposals. That’s why I’m here.

The Surprise Appearance

Now, this one is a little risky, because the potential date literally has no idea what’s coming. But it can make for a romantic story if done correctly. If not, hey, at least you have until Prom to brainstorm some better strategies. The trick for this one is to really get to know this person, so you can get that smiling “OMG how did you know I was here?” reaction. Track his or her phone. Memorize their work schedule. Then put minimum effort into a sign (puns optional) and show up at the right place at the right time.

The Inside Joke

I wouldn’t recommend doing this with someone who you just met. There’s not much substance there. Find someone who you’ve known for a while (preferably someone who also knows you well, so not that one girl or boy who you never talked to but went to the same elementary school with) and think of an inside joke, or a story, that only a few people can relate to. Maybe you accidentally drove over your potential date’s foot a few years back. Make a sign that reads “I’d be CRUSHED if you said no to Homecoming with me”. Boom. Easy. Side note, be sure to emphasize the pun word on the sign, just in case they can’t read or are just skimming for important parts.

The Planned Attack

This one has a lot of moving pieces, so my advice is to treat it as if you’re communicating with your crush in middle school. You talk to their friends, test the waters, find out if they’re interested in going to Homecoming with you. You then think of a message to put on a sign and plan a time and place to ask them to the dance. Their friends will do the rest. They’ll “spontaneously” want to go somewhere and bring them along, texting you the entire time to make sure you remembered the sign and where to go. This one is similar to the surprise appearance, except it requires absolutely no contact with your potential date until you actually ask them.

The Statement

This one is proof that peer pressure can be a good thing. You make a sign, just like any other strategy, but the presentation is a little different. Instead of getting them alone or meeting them at a planned location, you grow a pair and just ask in front of a crowd. Maybe it’s in the middle of our Homecoming rally. Or at halftime during a Tam football game. Any time and place that has a crowd. You then present the sign, and the entire crowd goes silent awaiting their decision. Fearful of the social consequences that come from saying no, there’s a pretty good chance you come away with a Homecoming date. But keep in mind the fact that given the situation, a blank face holding a sign would most likely have gotten the same answer, and that it might not have been your overwhelming and unique charm that landed you a date.

The Last Minute Proposal

This one I’ve heard is not a fan favorite. I would treat this one as a one time thing. In your four years at Tam and between all our dances, you can only use this technique once. Let’s say your relationship ended a few days before the Homecoming dance, or you just started noticing the opposite gender two days ago and you all of a sudden need a Homecoming date. Whatever the situation, here’s what you do: just ask. That’s right. You don’t plan an elaborate proposal or anything. In the middle of class, or maybe if you’re getting lunch together, you just privately, all casual, pop the question. I’m going to be honest, this isn’t the most surefire way of asking someone to the dance, and I definitely wouldn’t use this on an actual love interest. But if you’re just asking a friend, maybe you’ll walk away with a date.

I’m still brainstorming for some proposal ideas myself, so DM me your ideas @_adamtolson_ if you made it this far through the article, and let me know how things went with your proposal. I’ve already received a planned attack idea from a self-proclaimed anonymous romanticist. If your potential date is into basketball, rent out Gus Gym and launch basketballs at them with “Homecoming” written on them. See, all it took was a little motivation. Just remember: no matter what you do, make sure you have a third wheel friend to film the proposal and feel bad about not having a date themselves. Good luck out there, Hawks.