After working at a local juice bar for a little over a year, I’ve come to learn what it’s like to work in the service industry in Marin. From unruly little league players to senior citizens looking for a vitamin store, I’ve seen it all. However, the worst of the worst comes in the form of entitled customers. High strung, high maintenance, think the rules don’t apply to them—you know the type. To help illustrate the severity of this issue, I will recount some run-ins I’ve had with Mill Valley’s finest.

Did you know that our wealthiest customers have a special parking spot right out front? That’s right, the red curb that is usually reserved for emergency vehicles, is also available for Mill Valley Moms’ Range Rovers. In order to use this spot, simply put on your hazards, keep your engine running, and rush inside to get your green juice. If there are people in line, it’s ok, just cut in front of them, because your order will “just take a second.”

In order to be as efficient as possible, many busy parents will place their order and then go run other errands before picking it up. This is totally ok, however, if you come back 45 minutes later, please don’t complain that your avocado toast is cold. It’s not our fault that it took you so long to buy your gluten-free bread and flax cereal!

You’d think that it’s common courtesy to hang up the phone before ordering, but not in Mill Valley. Feel free to gossip about your cousin as the minimum wage worker behind the counter that reads “Kindly end your phone call before ordering” struggles to take your order. Just toss your platinum credit card on the counter and let them take care of the rest. It’s ok if they mess up your order due to your lack of attention because you can just force them to refund you and to make a new smoothie.

The adults are bad, but sometimes the kids are even worse. As a watering hole for entitled children, we are swarmed every day after school with 12-year-olds wielding airpods and iPhone X’s. After ordering everything on the menu and charging it to their parent’s card without a please or thank you, they sit down and gossip so loudly that they can’t hear when their name is called for their pizza square with oil and salt. When they finally get a hold of their food, they gobble it down and leave their trash strewn about, because they’ve forgotten that their mommy isn’t around to clean it up for them.

One of my favorite occurrences is when someone slips in the door at the last minute and exclaims, “I made it just in time!” The doors are shut, the floor is mopped, the dishes are washed, and we’re just waiting another two minutes until we can lock up and go home. We make their smoothie, re-clean everything, only to discover that they didn’t even leave a tip. And what’s even better than one person coming in at 5:58? An entire sports team! Feel free to treat your daughter’s entire lacrosse team to acai bowls, and don’t worry about leaving a tip. It’s not like you caused a major inconvenience or anything.

Having money does not make you better than anyone else, nor does it make up for your lack of manners. You still have to wait in line, you still have to throw away your trash, and as atrocious as it may seem, you still have to use the parking lot like everyone else. If you can’t be nice, at least be patient and use some manners. The teenage workers of Mill Valley thank you.