Hop Off the Gay Bandwagon


By Caitlin O'Shei

It is 9:35 a.m. on a Tuesday, as I begin to embark upon my long, tedious walk from Wood Hall to the Drama building, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I unlock my phone and read the text I have just received. “Omg! I heard you and L. are dating now! I am sooo proud of u guys, u are so strong and I support you 100%!!” I sigh and roll my eyes. Although this message may seem nice to an outside observer, it is the ninth or tenth “supportive” message I have received since my current girlfriend and I started dating a few weeks ago. Since my girlfriend and I have publicly declared our relationship I have received a constant battery of support, and when I say battery, I mean it. I have been practically assaulted by everyone’s assurances that they support my relationship, and think that we are “sooo brave” and “soooo cute together”. Although at first I found this support reassuring but expected it to stop after the original excitement of gossiping a new relationship faded. However, it has not faded. And frankly, I have been finding people’s assurances of support less and less tolerable. I now find myself bristling as my friends go out of their way to be politically correct around me, and have to restrain myself from being rude when I am asked invasive questions about my relationship twenty four-seven.

Here’s the thing, I know it’s because of the gay factor. I have been in straight relationships before, and yes, although people have expressed interest and support of my relationship it was never to the same degree that I experience now. As my girlfriend and I were talking about this she even remarked that she felt that it was “easier being in a gay relationship at Tam because nobody is allowed to say sh*** to you about your relationship.” Although there are endless campaigns to raise awareness about the struggle of gay kids in America today, gay kids don’t really struggle that much anymore, especially at Tam. Although this accepting and open minded nature is one of the greatest things about our community, sometimes I wonder if people’s intentions are straight on, pun intended.

I mean, let’s face it, the only thing more fashionable at Tam than being gay, is being a straight champion of gay rights. Unfortunately for these hip and free spirited harbingers of acceptance, I like any loyal sports fans, hate bandwagoners.  The majority of people who support my relationship do so very obviously, in the public eye. People will tell off their friends for using the word “gay” derogatorily in order to gain my approval. Although I understand that they’re trying to make me comfortable, these people make me feel more isolated than anything else. As a Tam student in a gay relationship, I really just want to be left alone. Acceptance means treating me, and my relationship, like any other. However, rather than giving me the true acceptance and equality I deserve, people seem more than happy to pry into my business and push their “love of equality” in my face so that everyone will see just how accepting they are. Please, if you want to actually be tolerant, just leave me alone and let me enjoy my gay relationship. I find your support tiresome, and your insistence that you “love gay people!!!” offensive and annoying. I may be gay, but I’m not stupid, and your thinly veiled narcissism isn’t fooling me. I know it’s fashionable, but please remove yourself from the gay bandwagon, before I push you off.