It’s been a while since I’ve written about my incredibly uncomfortable experiences in perfectly ordinary situations, but that’s not due to a lack of awkwardness in my life.

A staple of social interactions is the handshake. I have become accustomed to a tasteful high five that slides into a fist bump immediately afterwards, but another greeting has taken hold at Tam: I call it “The Grasp”. This handshake involves the two parties’ hands moving towards each other as if to high five, then grasping hands.

On one particular occasion I greeted an acquaintance outside of a school setting. We swung our hands towards one another in similar rhythm, but unbeknownst to me, my partner had adopted “The Grasp.” I began my handshake with confidence, expecting a five-to-pound, but was met with a grasping hand that closed around my closed fist. The moment felt like it lasted an hour, and when our eyes met, my heart sank. As Louie CK would say, “It was the saddest thing that ever happened in America.”

You know when you walk next to someone and it’s not awkward? Me neither. I was walking to class when I noticed a friend a few strides ahead of me. I quickened my pace and soon we were walking side by side, discussing a recent quiz. I noticed our hands almost touching as they swung at our sides. It was too late. Our fingers touched and awkwardly curled as if to hold hands. The spell was broken and we pulled back as if there were a cobra in our midst. Whenever I see said friend, the incident burns clearly in my mind, putting me on edge.

Both of these experiences were emotionally scarring and writing about this awkwardness is difficult for me. I have heard that the first step to healing is acknowledging the issue, so this is close to therapeutic. Awkwardness is just a part of life, and it must be embraced if we are to live a fulfilling life. Or I could avoid human contact. That would probably work, too.