The Tam News

Ways to make it look like you care about climate change

(Tenaya Tremp)

By John Overton

March 3, 2020

Realistically, how much do you actually care about climate change? But you still don't want to get in trouble for being a "bad person," so this article will teach you how to fake it.

An Adult Gym Goer’s Guide to Dealing with Physically Fit Teenagers

An Adult Gym Goer's Guide to Dealing with Physically Fit Teenagers

By Max Goldberg, Website Editor

February 7, 2019

Teenagers can’t seem to do anything right. Their small, underdeveloped brains prevent them from driving well, speaking rationally, turning down the music after you ask them to, and, apparently, exercising. That’s right. Teenagers are a nuisance in the weight room, and the workout routine you lea...

An Ode to Passing Periods

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December 14, 2018

As the period commences The masses are filled with glee. Oh how fun passing period is Of course, unless you’re me.   I try to take a leak, But all the Juulers harsh my mellow. What is that on the bathroom floor? It looks kind of wet and yellow.   So I decide...

Designated Juuling Areas – Satire

Designated Juuling Areas - Satire

December 13, 2018

On Sunday, June 3rd, J.B. Near and the administration announced the newest addition to Tam’s campus in the form of designated areas for consumption of vaporized nicotine products. “Addiction is a disease, and these students need a safe space to use without being judged by their teachers and peers,”...

Satire: Much Ado About Nuttin’

Satire: Much Ado About Nuttin'

By Milo Levine

May 22, 2018

In an email sent out to parents and students on May 1, the administration stated their concern with the recent rise of student masturbation on campus. This email comes as the CDC has declared a national Porn Induced Masturbation Addiction (PIMA) crisis. This condition has struck high school communities e...

Grey Area

Grey Area

By Benjy Wall-Feng

March 23, 2018

My first brush with the cultural tsunami that is "Fifty Shades of Grey" was in fourth grade, when I noticed, in one of the magazines my class was gleefully vivisecting for collage fodder, a book review with the alarming first sentence: "There are three kinds of sex — sex in the kitchen, sex in the...

Hawkward 2.0

Graphic by: Cassie Jeong

By Cody Duane-McGlashan

October 28, 2013

It’s been a while since I’ve written about my incredibly uncomfortable experiences in perfectly ordinary situations, but that’s not due to a lack of awkwardness in my life. A staple of social interactions is the handshake. I have become accustomed to a tasteful high five that slides into a fist...

Political satire “Butter” makes use of talented cast with creative concept and witty screenplay

Political satire “Butter” makes use of talented cast with creative concept and witty screenplay

By Wesley Emblidge

November 2, 2011

Is there really anything more compelling than the story of a small town butter carving competition? “Butter,” the film by Jim Field Smith that showed at the recent 34th Mill Valley Film Festival, makes you believe that there really isn’t. However it’s more than just that, the film is actually a...

The airplane risk equation

By Sander Lutz

November 17, 2010

It has come to my attention, hopefully to the great concern of each and every one of you, that I may have a slight “issue” with neuroticism. Beginning with my childhood, an eye-opening period of running from hypothetical white sound-proof kidnapper vans (to the point of taking a different route home...